Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Analyzing the Analytical Analyst

I have decided through many thorough and methodical thought processes that my human nature is bizarre. I am to myself, a bit of an enigma. I have a life which is not my own and yet that is the very life I yearn to dominate. I was/am an analytical control freak! I don’t ever just see one situation for what it is. Instead I see a situation with a myriad of possibilities and hang-ups. The frustrating part is that I know better. I know that I am no longer my own, and I know that nothing will change by my worrying about it. I know that I must die to myself daily and that God has promised to be a Father to me. I know I should trust in the Lord with all of my heart, leaning not on my own understanding and in all my ways acknowledge Him and He WILL direct my path!

Shouldn’t that be enough? It is enough! The problem is that I often forget that truth. The world around us is constantly judging our appearance, success rate, ideals, and drive for worldly things etc. I think because of this the warning bells within my old nature immediately start going off and the analyst within takes over. He begins by screaming, “Don’t judge me! I can be normal and successful and everything you think I should be, just you wait and see!” He continues with a hearty dose of doubt and with a truck load of pride. Then the analyst within starts to hide popular memoirs of my mind, usually beginning with promises from God and anything else that will give him friends on the jury(world). I start by analyzing my past, things I could or should have done differently, and then I continue by analyzing my current state of affairs and how they will play a role in my future i.e. What goals do I have for my life? Will these goals support me or a family if my life takes that turn? What should I be doing now to advance myself toward such goals? Are these goals from God or are they just something my surroundings are pushing me towards? Is God using my surroundings to push me towards them? Am I missing the obvious way because I’m to busy analyzing the situation? What about timing should I wait or should I go now? Is there an obvious way?

Does this get me anywhere? No…If anything it distracts me from the truth. The truth is that I must seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to me as well. Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matt. 6:33-34) I know that… I just need to hold onto it! There are so many distractions in life…I am so thankful that I have a Father who promised to always love me and who is always there to counsel His children. His Holy Spirit daily gives us the wanting to be…the wanting to be new creations free from the sin that so easily entangles...the wanting to be humble before the God of the universe… the wanting to be set apart and special… the wanting to seek first His kingdom and righteousness etc. And the best part of all is that His Holy Spirit also daily gives us the how to be…the how to be all of the things we can’t be without him…the how to be a new creation… the how be a person who can love his enemies and neighbors just as Christ loves the church... the how to be a man fully dedicated to the Lord etc. He is both our wanting to be and our how to be! (referencing Philipians 2:13)

So my advice to those whose analytical doubts in life are clouding their joy in Christ is this… Rejoice in the Lord always…again I say rejoice, for being in the way the Lord will lead you!

'For I know the plans that I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Monday, February 13, 2006

A Fork in the Road

Have you ever reached a turning point or a fork in the road and wondered which path to take? Of course you have, everyone must make life altering decisions at least once in their life. I am at such a fork. I've been here awhile (years) and still I wait. I know God will guide me but sometimes the waiting is almost unbearable. It isn't that I don't know the way, but it's that I don't know the time. The thing that gets me the most is that the longer I wait the more inconvenient circumstances seem to become. But perhaps the less suited I am for life’s task the more suited I am for Christ's purpose. How long must you wait at the fork in the road before His time reveals your path? Only God knows I suppose, and I see that patience is most certainly a virtue and it's a fruit of the Spirit that those who are in Christ must bear! Why is human nature so quick to give up! Why does it sometimes seek to stop seeking and yearn to stop yearning? Why are you in despair, O my soul and why have you become disturbed within me!?! Hope in God, for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God.

O what grace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear… all because we do not carry, everything to God in prayer!

Godliness with contentment is great gain!